Breakfast at the X-Mansion
by batman100
Summary: Kitty makes breakfast for the X-Men. Talk about cooking a recipe for disaster!


**Breakfast at the X-Mansion**

"Ahhh, what a beautiful morning!" Jean smiled, breathing in the glorious, clean air as she opened her window before letting a dove land on her finger. She patted it on the head as it chirped sweetly in a singsong type

"Ugh…what a crazy dream I had last night." Scott groaned, groggily opening his eyes as he got up

"Was it the one with the prancing deer meat again?" Jean asked, as the dove flew into its cage. Jean gently shut it before placing a bowl of bird feed in it

"Gee, how'd you guess?" Scott asked rhetorically, adjusting his tie as Jean helped him get his suit coat on

"Your screaming and moaning gave it away" Jean giggled, as the two kissed before Kurt and Lance burst in

"Guys, we got a problem" Lance gasped, panting as Scott and Jean looked at him strangely

"Lance; it's seven in the morning. What could **possibly** be such a problem on Sunday morning?" Jean calmly stated, spraying her perfume

"Kitty's making breakfast" Kurt said. At that minute, Jean stopped what she was doing, and both she and Scott paused before both of them raced down the stairs

"Why didn't you get rid of her cookbook before?" Jean asked Kurt as they scrambled down the staircase

"She told me she dumped it! She was being honest, I swear!" Kurt protested

"Oh, she dumped it all right. Dumped it in her closet and waiting for the right moment to use it" Scott corrected as they entered the kitchen to find the cookbook…and Kitty herself making her latest meal.

"Come and get it!" Kitty hollered, banging the dinner gong. Scott and Jean looked at each other. They gulped.

"What's all the racket?! Can't I get **any** sleep around here!" Logan grouched, entering the kitchen with his usual grumpy expression before seeing Kitty using the stove "Ok…what sort of disgusting glop is Half Pint cooking up **THIS** time?" Logan asked gruffly

"Cinnamon rolls with strawberry flavored filling and some banana-caramel muffins." Kitty replied cheerfully, setting up the silverware

"I do not even want to know **what** ingredients she used." Jean muttered, clutching her stomach in disgust

"Kitty? Uh, I know you worked so **excruciatingly** hard on this meal, and I respect that: But can we **please** order from Denny's?" Bobby pleaded, hoping Kitty would listen. All he got was a nasty knock on the head from Kitty's frying pan

"Ooh, that's **got** to hurt" Jean winced as Kitty hammered Bobby with the pan repeatedly

"How **DARE** you insult my cooking!" Kitty snapped before pouring the orange juice into the glass cups

"Ok, now **that** hurt!" Bobby groaned, rubbing his head as Logan tried to keep a straight face. "What are **you** laughin' at?" He snapped

"That part right there…That was so **priceless**." Logan chuckled, slapping his knee in amusement. Jean nudged him in the lower shin

"Quiet!" Jean hissed. Logan obeyed, still snickering until he saw the look Jean gave him

"So; who wants to try my cooking?" Kitty cheerfully asked, carving a slice of the banana-caramel muffin and placing it on a plate "Hopefully it's a lot better than food at **Denny's**" Kitty snapped, looking at Bobby's direction.

"Uh…Can I get some sugar with that?" Bobby meekly asked, hoping to make up for his Denny's comment. But Kitty was still sticking to her guns

"One more word. One more word of insulting my cooking, and I'll have your rear end boiled in **hot LAVA**!" Kitty snapped, her hand conveniently placed on top of a match. Bobby's eyes went wide and his lips were zipped

"Thank you" Kitty calmly grumbled before motioning the X-Gang to sit and eat. They did as instructed

"I got a bad feeling about this…" Jean whimpered nervously, as she inspected her muffin…and the strange blobs that were on the center half. Jean started to look pale

"Trust me, this food is perfectly **healthy**. These muffins are guaranteed to have **metabolism**. Think of it as a…fitness workout breakfast!" Kitty said, reassuring Jean

"More like the fitness workout breakfast from Hades" Logan grumbled sarcastically, as he opened the fridge and snagged a fresh Guinness bottle

"Scott, refresh my memory: Since when did we allow **BEER** for breakfast?" Jean asked, appalled by Logan's appetite directory

"What? Can't a guy get liquored up before busting the crap out of bad mutants?" Logan asked, apparently insulted.

"Actually, isn't that the Guinness **I** ordered from eBay last week?" Kurt piped up, before the X-Men stared at him "Oops" Kurt meekly replied

"Kurt, Kurt, Kurt, you just can **not** keep your mouth shut, can you?" Scott asked sarcastically, absentmindedly taking a bite of his muffin

"Scott! DON'T!" Jean shrieked as Scott opened his mouth

"Between the gums, look out stomach, here it comes!" Scott giggled, letting it enter his mouth before Logan and Jean tackled him off the chair and pinned him to the floor

"Gotcha! Didn't think you were gonna eat **that**, didn't you?" Logan grunted, trying to coax Scott into spitting the muffin out

"What in the world are you **DOING**?" Madame Hydra gasped in shock when she entered the dining room, a large look of confusion on her face when she saw Jean piled on top of Scott, and Logan having his hands open Scott's mouth.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you…" Scott drawled, his speech becoming incoherent as the food entered his bloodstream

"Now, is this the part where I say 'I **told** you we should've ordered Denny's'" Bobby asked sarcastically as Kitty chowed down on her cinnamon roll

"Scott, come on! You got to regurgiatate!" Jean ordered, trying to let him spit it out

"Can't you at least do it **not** on the floor? With **witnesses**?" Logan asked as the X-Gang watched in excitement.

"Damn, this is starting to get good" Lance guffawed, turning on his camcorder. Pyro was jotting down notes of what happened before

"Lance Alvers, if you even **think** or even go as far as to **dream** about posting this on MeTube, you are in so much trouble, it's not even **remotely** funny!" Jean snapped as Lance started to reconsider covering this, running the risk of incurring Jean's wrath

"Ok, ok! Geez!" Lance muttered, deleting the recorded footage before a horrible retching sound occurred.

"Oh God…That was **not **what I call a fitness workout breakfast!" Scott wheezed, gasping for air as Jean wiped off the slime on the hardwood floor.

"Well, so much for that idea. I'll try instead to make some **healthy** foods for real this time" Kitty stated, finally accepting the fact of improving her cooking

"Come on, I'll get you one of those malts you like" Jean assured Scott as she, Logan and Peter supported him as they walked up the stairs, leaving the X-Men and Madame Hydra in utter confusion of what happened

"Bobby? What just…happened?" Madame Hydra slowly asked, trying to get the facts figured out

"Let's just say it was a recipe for disaster" Bobby answered, not noticing the frying pan aimed over his head

"Oh boy…" Madame Hydra moaned, covering her eyes as Kitty once again hammered Bobby with the pan

"That does it! Kurt, get me the phone book." Madame Hydra ordered

"Why, may I ask?" Kurt asked knowingly as Madame Hydra flipped through the 'Dinner/Restaurant' section

"There's something I need to fix." Madame Hydra replied, dialing the phone before saying "Hello, is this Denny's? Yes, I'd like to order breakfast."


End file.
